i'm going to be completely honest with y'all, i have been struggling lately with my own self-esteem, not personally, but with this blog. i have gotten so down on myself and compared myself to every other blogger out there that i broke down last night and cried to my husband about how upset i was that i wasn't as good as the next blogger. after about an hour of bawling, i realized that i had completely forgotten why i really wanted to start a blog in the first place. it wasn't to be a successful fashion blogger, or to make money posting pictures of my outfits, even though i started to think that's what my blog was all about. the reason i started the blog in the first place was because i wanted to make a difference in someones life, i wanted to share my own personal experiences and post about what made me happy and hopefully make one person feel better about their life, whether that be making them feel like they can feel excited about what their wearing and not worry what people think, or making them realize that they aren't the only ones feeling the way they are, i want to make a difference.
i had an amazing experience the other day with a friend of mine that really reminded me what my blog really as all about. i was at the utah boat show and had a friend come up to me asking why i hadn't been posting in a while, and that he was bummed that i hadn't. i told him that i was having a hard time deciding whether or not to keep my blog and keep going with it, when he told me "you have to keep going! your blog made me realize that i can put myself out there as well and made me finally pull the trigger on starting my own website without worrying about what everyone else thought", thats when i realized that i really needed to pull myself together and remember what is important to me. last night i decided that i would no longer compare my instagram page to every other blogger out there, i would no longer feel less than the next person and would stop worrying about how many "followers" or "likes" that i was getting, cause that isn't what my blog is all about! its not about the likes, or the followers, its about changing lives and really speaking my truth.
so with that being said welcome to the new and improved "life as leilani", I'll be speaking my truth from now on. and you know what, that truth may be taking about the bachelor, my new favorite lipstick, or deeper subjects but it'll be MY truth. Oh and be prepared for a lot of mind vomit, cause if you know me, you know i certainly have a lot to say. I'll be speaking my truth and you should too.
xoxo leilani
