TRUMP ISNT THE PROBLEM

I vividly remember being 14 years old at cross country practice, and being cat called by a 40 year old man. I remember flipping off multiple men (sorry mom) who whistled at me while working out, only to be told "be careful you don't know what he might do to you". I remember being "groped" by a guy at a college party, while wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and not being dressed like "i was asking for it". I still to this day, am scared to go on a run alone, because "what if some guy follows me" runs through my head. 

as a young girl i was told to cover up, that i didn't want boys to get the wrong idea. BUT WHY?! why is it MY responsibility, to make sure boys don't get the wrong idea. Why cant i wear what i want, whether that be a skirt and heels or sweats and no makeup, without having to worry about boys thinking "wrong" of me. it doesn't matter what i'm wearing, i'm never "asking for it".

during this election the world has talked more about this "she's asking for it" culture, than has ever been talked about before, and Trump was the number one cause for it; as if he has been the only guy that has ever participated in "locker room" banter, in making women feel less than, in treating women like property, but guess what?! YOU JUST GOT AN INSIGHT TO THE DAILY LIVES OF WOMEN EVERYWHERE! but trump isn't the problem.- now before you freak out on me and call me all sorts of names, yes he has participated in all of the things i've mentioned, but if there is one thing i've learned through this election, is to look for the positive in everything, which in this case is that he raised awareness of the real problem going on, and that is what we are teaching our children.

we teach our girls that its their fault if a boy thinks "dirty thoughts" about them, that if they dress a certain way that boys are going to get the wrong idea.

we teach our boys that its "natural" to lust after a woman because "boys will be boys", almost as if the world owes them something...

so what are we supposed to do to change this?! how do we change the culture of the world?!

easy -- CHANGE OURSELVES AND HOW WE TEACH.

teach our boys that girls are their equal, and that they should be treated likewise. teach them that they need to be respectable AND respectful, to everyone

teach our girls to RESPECT themselves. teach them that they are beautiful, and are no ones property. teach them that they can be anything they set their mind on, no matter how they look.

teach our children that MODESTY IS FOR THEMSELVES, that you shouldn't "cover up" so that someone wont think differently, but they should remain "modest" so that they can do the things they need and want without having to focus on what they are wearing. teach them not to judge others based on appearances. TEACH RESPECT.

but how do we go about teaching these things?? we need to first learn them ourselves, understand them personally, and really change our views on ourselves. once you learn how to love yourself and respect yourself, you can then teach others to do the same. be the change that you wish to see in the world, spread love, not hate, and be more understanding and less judgmental, cause change first starts with you.

xoxo leilani

DATE NIGHT AND A NEW DRESS

y'all. we found the best place for date night EVER! its a little hole in the wall sushi restaurant, that kinda looks like you may get food poisoning from the outside, but i promise you, we've now been there like 4 times in the past few weeks, and i have yet to get food poisoning, so its definitely safe to eat i promise. its called Sushi House, and they have ALL YOU CAN EAT SUSHI ALL DAY LONG. yes. you read that right, ALL YOU CAN EAT, and its not the shitty sushi where you can only get the basic little california rolls in the all you can eat menu, but they let you pick absolutely whatever you want and it seriously is the yummiest sushi i have had yet (and I've eaten at a ton of different sushi places in my life, like a ton.) 

also this adorable dress is seriously one of my new favorite fall dresses, and its so affordable its crazy! I'm a little obsessed...

dress

purse

pom keychain

lip color

shoes (old from topshop): similar ,  currently obsessing

"REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"

"Real women have curves"


oh i cannot tell you enough how much i hate this quote. i dont just "dislike it", i dont just "kinda get annoyed by it", no. I HATE IT.

i am so sick of the media telling us smaller women that we arent real, that we are photoshopped, that "dogs only go for bones". i am also sick of the media telling women that being skinny is the only thing that you should be as women. that you have to have the perfect body, the flattest abs, the perfect butt, etc. YOU ARE NOT PERFECT. and you want to know what the most amazing this is about that?! its that NO ONE IS PERFECT. even the most "perfect" looking people in your eyes, have issues, insecurities, and imperfections and that is what makes us, US! 

you want to know what real women are?! real women are inventors, mothers, bloggers, shoppers, hairstylists, teachers, math brains, scientists, animal lovers, chefs, car enthusiasts, models, fitness stars, they are HUMAN. they are EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING IN BETWEEN, and if there is anything i can teach my daughter, is that she is a real woman no matter what she decides to do in life, no matter who she decides she wants to be, what she wants to do with her hair, whatever she decides in life, she is a real woman. cause guess what? I was a real woman when i was at 8% body fat, and extremely unhealthy, i was a real woman when i was at 13% body fat and at my most healthy "fit body", i was a real woman when i was healing from and emotional trauma and wasnt looking "my best" and I AM A REAL WOMAN NOW.

YOU ARE A REAL WOMAN

 whether you are "thick", "thin", short, tall, black, white, asian, mexican, polynesian, latina, aussie, european, have short hair, have long hair, have tattoos, have no peircings, NO MATTER WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE YOU ARE A REAL WOMAN.

my only hope is for people to be aware and proud that they are a woman in. so much pressure is put on us to be a certain way, to look a certain way, or to act a certain way, and i say SCREW THAT. do what you love, dress how you feel the most confident, read books and be proud of being a "nerd" if thats your thing, at the same time be proud that you hate reading, that you would much rather see the movie than read the book, be a cat lover, be a dog lover, dont own a animal all together, it literally does not matter what you choose to do, YOU DO YOU.

my absolute favorite quote about women being women is by Hanne Blank, and it says 

"Real women are fat. And thin. And both, and neither, and otherwise."

So be proud of being who you are, be proud of how others are, because to me, a REAL woman, empowers others.

xoxo leilani

I GAVE UP ENERGY DRINKS AND IVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER

So. ive had multiple questions about what on earth i was talking about on my facebook and instagram post,so obviously im going to share it with other people. i mean when you come across something amazing dont you want to share it with everyone else?!

so im going to back track a little bit here so that i can really have yall understand where i was just a few weeks ago. a few weeks ago i was at my all time low, i was at the heaviest ive ever been, i was beyond depressed (for those who dont know, surprise i have depression!), and i was super anxious all the time to the point where i didnt want to leave my house or even get off the couch. i was taking multiple naps throughout the day, and crashed around 9:30pm. I was trying everything i could, i was working out daily, i was getting outside when i could, i even tried to just focus on yard work one full day, but i could not get myself out of this funk.

thankfully for me, my husband has some amazing friends who had tried this certain product and SWORE by it. they bought us a month supply and im not kidding you, it sat on our counter for 3 weeks.... finally colton decided he wanted to try it out, just to say he had cause we felt horrible that our friends had gotten us this product and it was just sitting. the first day colton tried it, he felt beyond nauseous, and super down and just didnt want to do anything, so we called our friends and told them "kay you must be insane cause this is not working what the heck is going on?!", well of course, colton had taken it completely wrong, so it whacked his stomach for the first day, so the second day i tried it with him cause i thought "well what do i really have to lose?" and THIS TIME we took it correctly and i IMMEDIATELY started feeling it. my mind was clear, i was awake, and colton was finally focused (like he is when he was on adderall, ADDERALL PEOPLE) except for not only was colton focused, but he was his normal self! he was the funny, romantic man i had fallen in love with, that now had the drive and energy to get everything done when he needed it to be. now if you have every had a loved one with ADHD, you know exactly what im talking about. Before this Colton wouldnt even finish full sentences cause his mind would just go wandering let alone there was no way in hell he would finish a project unless i got on to him multiple times through the day, so the fact that i no longer had to deal with that, but unlike adderall, he STILL had his personality i was SOLD. 

now for my own personal experience, yall. you have absolutely no idea. my mind was finally clear, i had no anxiety (which literally, in a normal situation, i felt trapped inside my own mind and was the biggest worrier out there), not only was my anxiety gone, but my stress was gone. I had the energy to get through ONE WHOLE DAY! i wasnt crashing at 9:30 anymore, i could actually stay awake without getting grumpy towards people (sorry colton ), and I FINALLY SLEPT A FULL NIGHT WITHOUT WAKING UP AT 3AM AND STARING AT MY CEILING TILL COLTON WOKE UP.

seriously by the second day, all these issues i was having had been solved by this miracle product, so obviously being the slightly pessimistic, need to know it all nerd that i am, i immediately searched every single ingredient that was in this product, and learned exactly what it did for you, and called everyone that i could that knew things about this product that i couldnt figure out, just trying to find 1 bad thing inside of it so that i could, if you want to say "prove" myself wrong that this "supplement" really couldnt be solving all my issues, but to my dismay, and at the same time, my excitement, i found that there literally is nothing inside of it that is bad for me, so we ordered more, and became a part of the company, and now im sharing my experiences with y'all because i seriously am so beyond blessed that our friends shared this with us and it solved all my problems i was having, as well as my husbands, so i NEED to share it with the world, because if its had this impact on me, i know it'll help other people.

now this product isnt just for people who suffer with anxiety, like me, or have ADHD like colton, it has helped a myriad of people. For our friend brooke, its helped her fix her metabolism, for her husband its given him drive and energy, for other people its helped them get themselves to the gym and start changing their lives that way, and its helped all of us start a business and get ourselves some extra money every month too so of course that doesnt suck :)

so without further adieu, the product that ive been using is called THRIVE

what it is is a supplement you take FIRST THING IN THE MORNING, before you put anything else in your body, a protein powder you take 20 minutes later (which i like to mix the vanilla flavor with chocolate milk cause it tastes like cookie dough ;)), and then a patch that you put on a lean part of your body. yes a patch, like a nicotine patch except it contains a ton of vitamins and minerals that your body needs to function properly, as well as LESS CAFFEINE THEN A 12oz REDBULL, that seriously gives you energy throughout the whole day! plus whats amazing is it cuts all your crappy cravings, and you start actually craving healthy things! (for those who know me personally, know i am NOT a healthy eater. i love my dr pepper, i love my candy, and i hate water), with this product ive been craving salads and water daily! as well as true organic non processed foods, which has been a definite changer in my physique and my skin health!

(click my write up link below to learn the logistics of everything)

so i have two things for yall to do now that you have heard about my experience and a few others, i want you to take a look at this product, i want you to look through my write up of what exactly is in it and go to my husbands page and learn more about it (ill put the link below) and if you are interested in trying it or learning about the "business" side of it, (cause who doesnt want an extra $600-$3000+ a month?!) contact me or my husband through instagram, or facebook, or through our email or even send us a text! (i'll put that info below as well)

THRIVE INGREDIENTS

HUSBANDS PAGE





WANT TO LEARN THE BUSINESS SIDE 
or just have other questions on how to order?!
email us:
tay.brockbank@gmail.com
colton.brockbank@gmail.com

message us on facebook:
@taylor leilani brockbank
@colton brockbank

find us on instagram
@taylorleilani
@coltonbrockbank

WAIT... THESE ARE LEGGINGS

y'all. you have no idea how excited i am to be sharing my most favorite pants of all time that i for sure own multiple pairs of (judge me), and the best part... THEY'RE LEGGINGS.

YUP. you heard that right, LEGGINGS! and I'm beyond obsessed. I've been looking for a new pair of true black leggings for fall, cause lets be honest no one really likes wearing jeans, and when i saw these i about cried of excitement. i follow the cutest girl on instagram who started her own online clothing shop called "The Red Closet Shop", and i may or may not own every item of clothing from her line, cause its THE ABSOLUTE CUTEST. 

also these adorable booties are from target... yes target, one of my absolute favorite places to shop for shoes cause they are so affordable and adorable!

leggings

booties

top

plaid shirt

xoxo leilani

EATING DISORDERS 101

a few years ago i was at an all time low in my life. i was in a relationship that just about ruined any thought of confidence i had in myself, with a guy who was constantly comparing me to girls who had nicer abs then i had seen on any human before in my life, surrounded by his sisters who continually picked apart every inch of their body and were trying new diets every week to get that "summer bod" that everyone wants. its no wonder i not only had zero confidence, but was led to thinking that i wasn't good enough and became extremely depressed and developed an eating disorder.

before i get into the really nitty gritty of my experience, i want to share a few things about eating disorders, because i feel like it isn't talked about enough so people don't really understand that eating disorders don't just include starving yourself or throwing up your food when you finish eating, its much more than that.

an eating disorder is defined as "any of a range of psychological disorders (such as anorexia/bulimia) characterized by serious disturbances of eating behavior", so it doesn't just include being anorexic or bulimic, it also includes being malnourished and not fueling your body with what it needs to function. According the The National Medline Plus, "starving" yourself, is going underneath the recommended 1200-1500 calorie a day intake. A diet of 500-800 calories a day is dangerously low and should not be done unless it is a medically supervised diet. so if you don't feel as though you're categorized as anorexic or bulimic but you aren't eating the amount you need a day to keep your body going, because of negative influences, ( because eating disorders aren't about food, they're about the negative emotions that come about from not feeling good enough, or being stressed, depressed, anxious and everything in-between, and become a coping mechanism ), you need to realize that you have problem and need to change. this was the hardest thing for me; because i wasn't technically "anorexic" or "bulimic" i didn't see a problem, but i wasn't eating enough for myself because i was trying to cope with the anxiety of a mentally, and emotionally unstable and abusive relationship.

back to my experience... while i was in this relationship, i had absolutely no idea anything was wrong, because this had been the norm for me for almost 2 years. it wasn't until recent that i realized that i and a problem and needed to change it. i was at an all time low, weighing 91 pounds with a B.M.I. of 10 , (side note: a healthy BMI is between 18.5 and 24.9) , i was struggling to walk to work and stand on my feet for owe 3 hours without wincing from the pain of pinched nerves in my lower back. every night when i got home from work, i would end up crying myself to sleep because of the constant lower back pain, i couldn't go on hikes or runs without fighting back tears, needless to say, i was not in the best place of my life and i had no idea it was because i had an eating disorder. i blamed all the pain and frustration on previous injuries from a high school cross country career, and continued to ignore the real problem at hand.

when this relationship ended, and it ended badly, (i think i win in the worst breakup ever category, maybe ill explain later?), things got worse. i was broken and had no idea what to do so i decided to move back home to texas. for the first three weeks of being home, i didn't do a thing. i stayed inside and slept, maybe having a dr pepper, or a bowl of cereal to eat for the whole day, and watched too much tv. i finally got bored and started getting out of the house and feeling a little better, and thats when everyone started mentioning how little i was, and of course, being a girl, it felt as if i was getting complimented for being so skinny, so i started to feel a little better day by day, but my diet remained the same. i started getting more confident in who i was and decided that i needed to face my demons (a.k.a my ex and his crazy ass family , sorry not sorry!) , and move back to utah, cause there had to be a reason the God led me there in the first place. i was so worried that i would be alone in utah, since i moved to utah for this ex of mine in the first place, that i decided to use good ol' Facebook and find people i knew that lived in utah, and to find myself a friend to hang out with, and thats when colton and i reconnected, and i thank God every day we did!

i flew back to utah and started hanging out with colton on the daily, and i mean, who wouldn't want to hangout with someone who took you out to eat for breakfast lunch AND dinner?! i was in heaven! little did i know that he wanted to make sure i was staying healthy and eating, because from the two years that had passed since we last saw each other, i had lost about 30 pounds that i didn't need to lose, and he was worried about my health, and slowly i began my journey back to my healthy body. now it wasn't the easiest journey, and i definitely had some hiccups here and there, and way too much negative self talk, but i can finally say that i am HEALTHY, and it feels amazing. yeah i still don't have the ripped bod that i want, and i still get back pain every now and again, but i am healthy enough to go to the gym, to go on a run, or a hike without crying because i am in so much pain. i can finally fall asleep comfortably, and stand on my feet for a long amount of time and its the most amazing feeling in the world. i still have to fight every day to have a good day, and to remain positive with myself, but i am slowly learning how good it is, to feel good, and i couldn't be more grateful.

so if you are struggling at all, with any version of an eating disorder, please try your hardest to follow these steps so that you too can become healthy again.

1) HAVE A SUPPORT SYSTEM

do not be afraid to talk to someone! if you are scared to talk to friends or family, talk to me! I've been through it and i understand. i am more than happy to help you with anything you need.

2) LEARN HOW TO COPE

because eating disorders become a coping mechanism for many people, try and focus that energy somewhere else! figure out the problem at hand and use exercise, reading, music, or the outdoors as your new coping mechanism.

3) IMPROVE YOUR SELF IMAGE

make a list of your positive qualities. focus on what you like about your body. challenge the negative self talk. wear clothing that makes you happy. stay away from the scale. celebrate yourself!!!

4) DONT DIET

learn healthy eating habits. instead of focusing on what you shouldn't eat, focus on what you need to keep your body fueled and keep a regular eating schedule!

5) IF YOU NEED MORE HELP

turn to your primary care physician for help, and a referral to a doctor or nutritionist that can help you, or call the national eating disorder association hotline at 1.800.931.2237

6) and lastly, LOVE YOURSELF

xoxo leilani

SPEAK YOUR TRUTH: BE A BEST FRIEND

y'all. i am feeling the love. i just have so much love in my heart right now i wish i could just reach out and hug every one of you!

so now that I've been overly lovey, I'm going to back track a little... about a week ago i completely broke down to my husband on the phone. i know crazy right, I'm human, and i have emotions, and sometimes they get the best of me. I have times where i don't hold it all together and i just completely break down and feel sorry for myself, and this was one of those times. i broke down about how i seriously felt like i had no friends and it totally killed me. now this isn't the first time I've felt this way, but before i normally just say "screw it, i don't care, tim not going to waste my time feeling bad and let it hurt me" so i would just stuff all those emotions down until finally i didn't have any more room to stuff emotions, and i exploded, and imploded, and every other "ploded" there is...  and my poor husband (i thank the Lord every day for him, and for his ability to deal with my crazy), got to listen to me sob on the phone for about an hour. (to the men reading this, if you have any girl in your life, this will happen to her, she will explode eventually and not be able to hide her emotions anymore, so my advice to you, is be prepared to just listen, don't try to fix it, i mean it - don't try and fix it, and comfort her, and possibly bring some ice cream...) in all seriousness though, this is the lowest I've felt in a very long time.

i got home from work around 3:30, and had to be at the airport to pick colton up at 1am, so i had some time to kill, so i sat, and snap chatted, and watched way too many reality shows, rented a movie, had really unhealthy food, sat some more, cue breakdown. i couldn't understand why no one was coming to hand out with me when i was obviously lonely, i mean i know everyone had seen my snapchats, and knew they saw me lonely, taking pictures with my dog, so why had no one come to my rescue?! - this was literally going through my mind - and it wasn't until after sleeping off my full on meltdown, that i realized how ungrateful i was acting, and how overdramatic, (I'm a girl, sue me), i was being. 

i was so blessed all through high school to have a home that my parents made so welcoming, where people would constantly be hanging out, and to have friends that would just come over unannounced when they knew i was bored, to get me off my butt and doing something productive. i was even luckier to have similar experiences in hawaii with amazing friend who would walk over from their dorm screaming my name to wake me up and get me out of my room, or better yet, poke me with sticks while i was sleeping through my window. i guess i just assumed thats how everyone acted and thats what it would be like no matter where i lived. i finally realized that in order to get a friend that does these things, and treats me so well, i had to BE that friend to them, and i hadn't been doing that. I hadn't been the one to pick up the phone and call/text first, invite them to do something, or just check up on them to make sure they're doing okay, so why would i expect someone to do that for me?! i have finally begun to understand this concept and am beyond humbled by my break down because i am finally able to see the light and change my ways.

with that being said, here are my steps to being, and getting, a best friend.

1: GENUINELY CARE

don't just say whats up, or what are you doing, genuinely ask them how they are and whats new in their lives, and be excited for them! life is hard, and sometimes people suck, so be a cheerleader for them and lift them up all the time, not just when they're feeling down, and CONTINUALLY check up on them!

2: MAKE THE PLANS AND TEXT FIRST

don't wait around for someone to text you or invite you to do something, if you're bored and want to hang out with your friends, tell them! tell them what you have planned and that you would love for them to come and be there with you!

3: DONT GET BUMMED

life gets crazy sometimes, and they may not be able to make it, but don't get upset! instead reschedule and let them know that you're there if they every need you. if you get bummed about your friend not being able to make it to what you have planned, you'll begin to resent asking, and you'll be less inclined to plan and ask again, which means they'll be less inclined to hang with you.

4: BUY THEM A ROUTE 44 DP

okay this is optional, but if anyone wants to bring me one i wouldn't hate it

but in all seriousness, just treat your friend exactly how you would want to be treated and i promise you, your friend pool will be infinite.

now i just wanted to take this space here to thank some people who have truly made a difference in my life and taught me what it means to be a friend.

NARDY: thanks for just being you. i couldn't be more grateful for who you are as a person and I'm lucky to have you as a best friend. even though seminary teachers hate us, we may or may not throw cake at random strangers, and I'm pretty sure we annoy every human we come in contact with, you are my best friend and have taught me that who i am as a person, is pretty rad. thanks for not hating me anymore so we could become friends

ALEX: thank you for teaching me that if it doesn't make me happy, I'm doing it wrong, whether that be with life or jobs or school, i try my hardest to do what makes me happy and thank you for teaching me that its okay to make mistakes, and that i can forgive myself. 

AUSTIN: thank you for teaching me that its okay to be weird, and to love who i am as a person. thank you for teaching me how to be confident in myself and for accepting me for me. also thank you for teaching me how to truly love and care for each and every individual unconditionally.

BRAYDEN: thank you for teaching me to get over it and move on! and for showing me that i am stronger than i think and braver than i seem. also thank you so much for teaching me that it doesn't matter what any one else thinks of me, only what i think of me.

VIC: thank you!!! thank you for being there for me during one of the hardest times of my life and for just being willing to do whatever i needed at the time, and for just chill in and watching ridiculousness with me when we probably should have been studying. thank you for making me feel so comfortable in who i am and helping me find myself.

AND LAST BUT OBVIOUSLY NOT LEAST 

COLTON: words can not express how grateful i am every day for you. i am so beyond blessed to not only know you, but have you as my forever best friend. thank you for helping me through the tough times and cheering me on through the great ones. every day you amaze me and show me what its like to have a Christ-like love towards every one and i pray that i can be more like you. thank you for loving me and teaching me what truly matters in life. you are the most amazing example of a human and best friend, and i thank The Lord daily for you. I love you.

xoxo leilani

SIX STEPS TO A FLAWLESS COMPLEXION

Everyone wants a flawless complexion, lets be honest. I've struggled with so many different skin problems from having overly active oil producing skin, to flaky dry skin that I can't seem to moisturize enough, i know crazy right? you don't hear many people having both those issues with their skin but i guess im just the lucky one (cue sarcasm). I have tried everything from accutane to help out my acne, to the most expensive dermatologist recommended face washes, to your basic neutrogena face wash, and i finally found one that works for me! now im not saying this will work for everyone, and if you decide to switch over and use some of the products that i do, be prepared for a little breakout before your skin gets better because your skin isn't used to these products so give it a little time and then judge if it works for you or not.

As well as face washes, i've included my favorite makeup staples that help with this flawless complexion, and as always i've included a save and splurge to each product, cause if you're like me there are some thing that im so willing to drop way too much money on (like makeup and bags) and things that i would rather have more of then a fancier version (shoes....)

STEP 1: EXFOLIATE

many people make the mistake of thinking that they don't need to exfoliate because they're already too dry, or they're scared that their skin is going to freak out and produce more oil because its stripping the oil from the skin, but that's wrong! exfoliator are seriously the best thing you can do for your skin! it deep cleans your pores, riding them of dirt and excess makeup that you may not get out of your pores in your daily cleansing. BUT make sure you're not overusing your exfoliator! that's when your skin will begin to freak out, only exfoliate 1-2 times per week and make sure to moisturize after!!!

Save

Splurge

STEP 2: PRIMER

another way to get a flawless complexion, is to use a primer before your foundation! primers fill in all your imperfections and blur your pores and make your foundation last even longer!

Save
Splurge

STEP 3: HYDRATING FOUNDATION

now, this is seriously one of my favorite things ever! i have combination skin, meaning its oily in some places and dry in others, so i was terrified to use a hydrating foundation cause i didn't want to look shiny, or oily, but it has been the best thing for me! it feels like a cloud on my skin and i feel like its actually helping heal my skin while i wear it! i don't wear foundation very often, but when i do i love to use one that hydrates my skin, and gives me a glow!

Save
Splurge

STEP 4: CONCEALER

OH THIS IS LITERALLY FROM THE MAKEUP GODS FOR SURE. especially if you're like me and no matter how much sleep you get, how many "eye products" you use, you always have dark circles under your eyes! obviously you can use concealer to "conceal" blemishes, and highlight certain areas of your face, but my favorite way to use concealer is to cover my dark circles

Save
Splurge

STEP 5: HIGHLIGHT

OMG. yall. this is my absolute favorite thing of all time, especially in the summer time!!! when im headed to the pool where i know ill be taking pictures and don't want to look completely crazy without makeup, i just throw a little highlight on and im ready to go! i never thought that highlight would do much for me, but it just adds that extra amount of oomph to really make people look, in a good way!!

Save

Splurge

STEP 6: TRANSLUCENT POWDER

this is an absolute savior for people with oily skin, as well as setting concealer, or achieving a matte look, so basically its amazing for everything... i love the translucent part of it because you cant use too much! and i love to just throw a little bit on top of my skin before i head out to just blur out some of my imperfections

Save
Splurge

Now for my personal makeup and skin care routine, i've found that the most amazing product that has worked wonders for my skin is the Mary Kay TimeWise collection. I use their at home micro derm exfoliator once a week (sometimes twice if i really feel like i've been sweaty or have extra dirty pores) and immediately after i use their day or night solution moisturizer, depending on if i exfoliate in the morning or night. As for my makeup routine, these are my basics that i use every time i put on makeup, now i always add a blush if im going to contour my face cause it really just pulls it all together, but i don't have a staple blush yet cause i haven't found a color that i really love! so if you have any suggestions let me know! and once i find one i love ill post it up for yall!

Exfoliator
Moisturizer
Cleanser
Daily Moisturizer

Primer
Concealer
Foundation mixed with this Foundation
Contour
Highlight
Bronzer

SPEAK YOUR TRUTH: LOVE YOURSELF

now - this is extremely awkward for me to do, mostly because I'm the worst at accepting compliments, let alone giving myself compliments, but its been something I've been struggling with personally, as I'm sure a few of you have been as well.

most people when the meet me see an extremely confident, happy, go lucky girl so for you to hear that i struggle with personal self image and self esteem might be a shock, but its true, and I'm all about speaking the truth here. now I'm not saying this so i can get compliments or sympathy, but i just want girls (and guys alike), to realize that this is a serious issue in out world today and you're not alone.

with social media being such a huge part of our daily lives, we are constantly bombarded wit homages of amazing adventures, beautiful people, and even more amazing bodies, so its no wonder that so many people are insecure about themselves these days. its impossible to live up to these "perfect" social media accounts and these "perfect" people. Ill be the first to admit that i had to unfollow multiple people because i no longer looked at them as motivation to better myself, but i began to envy them. their lives seemed perfect! their amazing closets full of designer clothing that probably costs more than my house, and these wash board abs on brand new moms, i wanted everything they had, so much so that i forgot what i had been blessed with myself. there aren't many 22 year olds who can say they own their own house, have their cars paid off, and have extra money to spend each month. i forgot that i was lucky enough to have all of these things because i was so focused on what everyone else had that i didn't. i was too focused on these "social media queens" that i resented what i had. yeah my house isn't the biggest nicest thing, my body might not be in the best shape, and i sure as hell don't have washboard abs, i have an afro 90% of the time and i get the most random breakouts at the most random times, but guess what? IM HUMAN, and this is my reality and i love it. I'm not perfect, and i couldn't be more stoked that I'm not! being perfect would be boring, and i wouldn't be able to grow and learn from the mistakes I've made.

so for those of you struggling similarly to how i am, I'm going to challenge you to do 4 things.

1: STOP COMPARING

stop. stop it right now. stop comparing yourself to other people, you aren't them and they aren't you. your genetics aren't theirs, and they don't get to be as beautiful and unique as you. yeah i wish i looked like some of these beautiful blonde bloggers, but I'm 1/2 irish, 1/2 polynesian so theres no way in hell thats happening, and guess what?! thats whats so amazing. i am completely me, and you are completely you, and no one gets to be you, and that is the beauty of life.

2: IF ITS NOT HELPING YOU - GET RID OF IT

this includes social media people you're following as well as "friends" who bring you down. If they don't motivate you to be a better you, if they make you feel less then, and if you're constantly comparing your life to theirs, get rid of! unfollow them, unfriend them, and rid them from your life! there is enough stuff in the world trying to bring you down, you shouldn't be willingly following these people who are making you feel less then.

3: MAKE A LIST

make a list of 2 of your strong suits, and 2 things you struggle with, write them down and put them on your mirror. every morning tell yourself that you are great at these things, and say it out loud! i know it sounds goofy, but it seriously helps. it may be uncomfortable at first, but eventually you will get used to it and it will make such a huge difference in how you see yourself

4: POST A SELFIE

lastly, post up a selfie of a time you felt most confident, most beautiful, most handsome, and you were truly happy and openly talk about why you posted this picture!! don't be afraid that people are going to judge you for it, cause the harsh reality is, they're going to judge you anyways, so do what you want!

with that being said, I'm going to break the ice and leave my affirmations and favorite pictures here so you can have someone who is taking this journey with you!

1: i am smart

2: i am giving

3: i am confident

4: i am beautiful

 i love this picture because it a true smile, and you are most beautiful when you smile

 i feel pretty in this picture, plus how cute is my mom?!

 this is the first time I've ever parted my hair down the middle and felt confident about it, so obviously i had to take a selfie. judge me.

 this was my first trip with colton after we had become official and it just reminds me of fun happy time, plus i like that i was laughing in this picture and it turned out pretty cute

this was the day i went blonde for the first time and i felt beautiful and so confident in myself, i love looking at this picture and truly feeling how confident i was in myself at this time.

now, i challenge y'all to post a picture of yourself on social media of a time when you felt most beautiful and tag me in it, or hashtag #speakyourtruth so i can see it!!

xoxo leilani

BOOTIES EVERYWHERE

I don't know about yall, but I'm OBSESSED with booties! No I'm not talking about your backside... I'm talking about the ones you wear on your feet! I love that you can wear them all year round - even in the summertime! Which is one of my favorite times to wear them!

Here are some of my favorite places to get booties and ones that I'm currently coveting! And don't worry, I put my favorite places to get cheaper versions of expensive booties just in case you don't want to splurge on shoes.

1  2  3  4  5

1  2

1  2  3  4  5

1  2  3  4

1  2  3  4

1  2  3  4  5

xoxo leilani

SPEAK YOUR TRUTH

i'm going to be completely honest with y'all, i have been struggling lately with my own self-esteem, not personally, but with this blog. i have gotten so down on myself and compared myself to every other blogger out there that i broke down last night and cried to my husband about how upset i was that i wasn't as good as the next blogger. after about an hour of bawling, i realized that i had completely forgotten why i really wanted to start a blog in the first place. it wasn't to be a successful fashion blogger, or to make money posting pictures of my outfits, even though i started to think that's what my blog was all about. the reason i started the blog in the first place was because i wanted to make a difference in someones life, i wanted to share my own personal experiences and post about what made me happy and hopefully make one person feel better about their life, whether that be making them feel like they can feel excited about what their wearing and not worry what people think, or making them realize that they aren't the only ones feeling the way they are, i want to make a difference.

i had an amazing experience the other day with a friend of mine that really reminded me what my blog really as all about. i was at the utah boat show and had a friend come up to me asking why i hadn't been posting in a while, and that he was bummed that i hadn't. i told him that i was having a hard time deciding whether or not to keep my blog and keep going with it, when he told me "you have to keep going! your blog made me realize that i can put myself out there as well and made me finally pull the trigger on starting my own website without worrying about what everyone else thought", thats when i realized that i really needed to pull myself together and remember what is important to me. last night i decided that i would no longer compare my instagram page to every other blogger out there, i would no longer feel less than the next person and would stop worrying about how many "followers" or "likes" that i was getting, cause that isn't what my blog is all about! its not about the likes, or the followers, its about changing lives and really speaking my truth.

so with that being said welcome to the new and improved "life as leilani", I'll be speaking my truth from now on. and you know what, that truth may be taking about the bachelor, my new favorite lipstick, or deeper subjects but it'll be MY truth. Oh and be prepared for a lot of mind vomit, cause if you know me, you know i certainly have a lot to say. I'll be speaking my truth and you should too. 

xoxo leilani

IS YOUR BFF REALLY YOUR BFF?

Growing up I didn't have very many friends, and the friends I did have, didn't last very long. Either we grew apart, they moved, or most of the time, they became a part of the "popular" group that I definitely was not a part of. I wish so badly that I would have known then what I know now about how people who really are your best friends, treat you, maybe then i would have had a better high school experience. Now don't get me wrong, the friends I did have in high school, were the most amazing people on this planet, and still to this day they mean the world to me, so to those of you who were my best friends in high school, i am beyond grateful for everything you did for e and taught me. With that being said we're going to get into the nitty gritty.

So when I was a sophomore in high school, there was this group of girls that I was friends with, and for one of the girls birthdays they decided to go to a hotel and have party there with just all the girls. When it came time for the party, I had my mom drive me over to this girls house where everyone was suppose to meet at 7pm, but when I got there, no one was home. I was pretty confused at why no one was home, and thought that maybe it had gotten rescheduled and they just forgot to tell me, so I called all the 6 other girls who were invited and no one was answering. I had my mom take me back home and i spent the whole night wondering why on earth no one would answer their phone. Being the naive, extremely loving person that i was, i thought the best and just assumed everyone was busy doing their own thing cause the birthday party had been rescheduled. I never thought that I would be purposely left out, i mean that only happens in movies right? The next night I was on Facebook and saw that everyone had posted up pictures of this awesome hotel birthday party that i was suppose to be at. Apparently everyone else had met at 5pm and left, and I was the only one who was told to come over at 7pm, they had purposely left me out. I was completely heart broken, these people who i thought were my best friends had told me the wrong time so that they didn't have to hangout with me at the party.
Eventually this group of friends that I thought I was a part of, came up with their own name, the sixlets, and i was the seventh person, so obviously i wasn't a part of this group that I thought were my best friends. I was told that the reason I wasn't a part of the group was because there was a girl in the group that didn't like me, and the only reason she was in the group was because her mom called the other girls moms and said that they had to include her. So because she was included, i wasn't. And of course I believed them, and honestly up until I opened up to my husband about this, I still believed them. He finally made me understand that the harsh reality was that they were really shitty friends to me, and that sometimes the people you think are your friends, really aren't meant to be your BFF.

Now im not saying this for sympathy, and if you're reading this and its about you, don't feel bad, I've moved on and grown from this experience. It has made me who I am today, and has made me accepting of everyone because i know how it feels to not be included. I couldn't feel more blessed to go through this experience. With that being said - here is what I wish I would have known and asked myself when I thought my "BFF's" were really my BFF's.

1) Am I physically/emotionally drained after being with them?
We all have different energy levels, and that includes how long we can deal with one another. After an amount of tine spent with your "BFF", do you feel physically and/or emotionally drained from the negativity the person gives off? Or do you feel energized and excited about life after spending time with this person?

2) Do I feel like I have to compete? Am I fighting for attention?
Do you feel like no matter what you say, your BFF is always coming up with a better story? Do you feel like you're having to fight for attention, or "who's better"?

3) What makes up the core of your relationship?
How did y'all become friends? Did you bond over gossip and negativity or did you bond over similar goals and love and compassion?

4) Do I have to worry about offending them? Am I walking on eggshells?
Do you worry that if you give your opinion, they're going to fight back because they're offended? Or can you have a civil disagreement and learn from differing opinions?

5) Do they encourage me and my goals? Or put them down?
Having people on your side who respect and encourage your goals is extremely important - your friends should lift you up and make you feel confident about your dreams, not put them down.

6) Do they undermine what I'm saying? 
Do they try to invalidate your feelings? Are they willing to listen or do they shut you down?

7) Do I have to keep things from them?
We all have secrets but if you feel like you have to keep everything from your BFF, that's definitely a red flag.


8) Is it an equal relationship?
Do you both give 100%, or are you the only one making an effort? If it's one sided, its not much of a relationship

9) Am I nervous or excited to tell them things?
Do you get excited to tell them good news, or are you nervous because they'll get jealous or uncomfortable?

10) How do I feel about myself when I'm around them?
Do they make you feel confident and important? Or are they always poking fun at you? Do you feel crummy when you're around them? Life is already full of things trying to put you down, your BFF shouldn't be that way

11) Do they respect what I ask for?
Can you be open and honest with each other and know that they'll listen? Or do you feel like they disregard how you feel?

12) Do they want the best for me?
In the end this is all that matters - if they want the best for you, they will lift you up and make you feel confident, important and excited about life. If not, GET RID OF THEM, this is not someone you want in your life.

All in all, your friends should treat you as good as you treat them. So go out there and be the best friend that you can be, and be an example to others about how a true friend should act.

xoxo leilani

SUNDAY GAME CHANGER

So I decided that Sunday's are now going to be reffered to as "Sunday Game Changer's" and I'll be posting recipies, sunday thoughts, rants, etc. on sundays cause why the heck not?! I know that for me personally im ALWAYS on social media on Sunday's cause its just the perfect way to relax and be mindless for a little while.

So for today's "Game Changer", I'm gonna share with you my favorite "homemade pizza", that my Husband and I absolutely adore! It is seriously one of the easiest things to make, and its so fun cause they're mini personal pizzas so you can do whatever you want to make it your own!

What you're gonna need: 

Rhodes dinner rolls

Cheese (any kind, I like the kraft "Pizza" cheese)

Prego Pizza Sauce (or really any sauce, this is just my fav)

Cooked Chicken

Pre-Cooked bacon (Natural Choice fully cooked bacon is the best!)

Any other pizza toppings you like! (we added mushrooms this time, yum!)

Pre-heat oven to 355

Let the Rhode's dinner rolls sit out on the table and thaw for about an hour, once they're ready knead and roll them into a round pizza shape

Add your toppings. We like to do pizza sauce, a whole lot of cheese, and mix it up with bacon, chicken, and even mushrooms to give a different selection of personal pizzas!

Butter your pan and put them in the oven for 10-15 minutes, depending on how cooked you want your pizzas! I like to leave them a little doughy cause I love it like that, so I don't leave it in for as long, but its all up to your own personal preference

Finally take them out and serve them with ranch, a salad, or whatever you like to have your personal pizzas with!! Trust me these are the best homemade pizza's you'll ever have!!!

xoxo leilani

HAIR, HAIR, AND YOUR GUESSED IT, MORE HAIR

YALL. I'm so so so excited to talk about something that I am absolutely passionate about, not just because this is what I do for a living, but because its seriously changes everything! Yeah I understand that might sound crazy, cause other people are passionate about "real things" like fitness, or world peace, etc. etc. etc. BUT this is seriously such an amazing thing that is so easy and can completely chage your confindence and outlook on life, not even kidding.

Let me just take you through my "Hair" journey and explain to you what I mean...(90% are selfies so please don't judge me...)

First we have the "dating" hair. I call it this because this was the hair I had when my ex and I broke up and Colton and I began dating! You know how apparently when you break up with someone you go and do something crazy to your hair? Well I got a very subtle ombre.... go Tay am i right?!

But really just this tiny little change on the bottom of my hair, gave me a whole new confidence and passion to take on the world even though I thought my whole world had ended, cause I was suppose to marry my ex, and it didnt happen like we thought and ended a little crazy so just getting this change made me so excited to head back up to Utah and go out on a date with this kid I had met 4 years prior! Crazy right?!

This was the "Im bored with my natural color, and so lets go chocolate brown", cause Chocolate brown literally looks AMAZE-BALLS on every single human out there. Such a great fall color, and such an amazing way to just change up my look from the "before when I dated my ex and he loved all things girly and frilly so I dressed girly and frilly even though I hate wearing bright clothing and so now I'm gonna become my own human so screw the past" type of thing... thats normal right?

This was a total changing point for me in my life and my relationship with Colton. He pulled me out of my shell and really made me confident in who I am and what I love, and love to wear, and that its okay to not be a frilly, flowery, frolicking through the meadows type of girl and to actually reach into my edgier side and show who I really am,

Then we have the "now I'm married hair, lets go back to natural me". This is by far one of my favorite looks ever cause it has the dark root that I love but the warm warm blondes that I've always wanted! Kind of and in-between color, and just a simple natural look that gave me the change I wanted to see, and the "sexy-ness" I wanted to feel since now I was officially off the market, cause all of us married girls, even though we are married, still want to feel beautiful to every one, especially our husbnd, but not just him. We want people to still look at us and feel kinda bummed when they look at our finger and see that blingin ring and think "well dammit shes taken"

This one.. now this one is a little bit crazy for some people but I was obsessed and if it wasnt so much maintenance trying to keep the blue from fading to an ugly muddy green I would probably for sure have it right now. I have never felt more bad-ass than when I had this hair. I was in the middle of hairschool, kindof feeling like I was being forgotten by everyone cause I was just so busy with school, and I was just a little "plain jane" inschool which made me kindof fade into the background. When I decided that this is what I wanted to do, thank you Kylie Jenner for making it socially acceptable, I felt like I mattered again! I know that sounds horrible, but I really felt like I finally stuck out, not to mention it was so fun wearing all these crazy colored lipsticks and totally rocking them with my blue hair! 

We then have the "back to normal" hair. Now just as a side note, there were three different colors between the black to normal. It was a PROCESS so if you are wanting to go black just know it really is hard to go back, its possible, but definitely a process. I had to color cleanse out my hair to strip the black, I had to tone it so I didnt have fire hair after the color cleansing, I had to add in a color a few weeks later becuase my hair was so damaged it wouldnt hold onto anything after the color cleansing, then I had a third and final color to try and even out everything so It wasnt so obviously "color cleansed out". But we finally got it and I was able to let my hair chill for a while and re-coop from all the craziness of hair school!

Then we had the "in-between" what I had and what I wanted, which frustratingly enough, is a must if you want to keep the hair on your head. Lucky for me my hair is pretty stubborn, and tough so I was able to get out of this inbetween state pretty quickly but if you're wanting something similar, unless you're okay with chopping of a few destroyed inches, I would definitley take time to keep your hair strong, healthy, and to finally get the color you want

Finally we have THE MOST EXCITING CHANGE IVE EVER BEEN THROUGH, and the most beautiful I have felt in a while, and soooo extremely confident in myself! I feel like freaking  Kardashian. I never thought that a polynesian like me, with my jet black eyebrows, would ever be able to go blonde, but thank you fashion for saying that big black eyebrows are actually pretty, cause im finally starting to see it

.

Are y'all ready to see it?!

yes?

no?

okay okay i'll let you see it

Im posting this for not only women out there who are just wanting something different but don't know what to do, wanting to go lighter but don't know how much time it'll take, but also for the boys who don't understand why we spend so much money on our hair! It's all about feeling like yourself. Being confident, having a new outlook on life, and just being ready and exited to start new things, and that is why I am so passionate about hair! That's why I got into doing hair, its not because I wasn't smart, (ill have you know I graduated with a 98% in calculus and went to college to be a highschool math teacher), it wasn't because its just "easy"(cause it isnt, its time consuming), but its because I get to help women feel better about themselves, no matter their race, hair color, social status, religion, or anything else that may interfere with what the media tells women to think, but I get to make them happy. I get to help them with their confidence. I get to meet so many new people and learn, and teach, so many wonderful things to people I would never meet in a school room. It is just so amazing what I get to do every day, and to love it as well! Not many people can say that about their job, but I am so blessed that I can!

xoxo leilani

(p.s. I'm accepting new clients as well if anyone needs anything done)