TRUMP ISNT THE PROBLEM

I vividly remember being 14 years old at cross country practice, and being cat called by a 40 year old man. I remember flipping off multiple men (sorry mom) who whistled at me while working out, only to be told "be careful you don't know what he might do to you". I remember being "groped" by a guy at a college party, while wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and not being dressed like "i was asking for it". I still to this day, am scared to go on a run alone, because "what if some guy follows me" runs through my head. 

as a young girl i was told to cover up, that i didn't want boys to get the wrong idea. BUT WHY?! why is it MY responsibility, to make sure boys don't get the wrong idea. Why cant i wear what i want, whether that be a skirt and heels or sweats and no makeup, without having to worry about boys thinking "wrong" of me. it doesn't matter what i'm wearing, i'm never "asking for it".

during this election the world has talked more about this "she's asking for it" culture, than has ever been talked about before, and Trump was the number one cause for it; as if he has been the only guy that has ever participated in "locker room" banter, in making women feel less than, in treating women like property, but guess what?! YOU JUST GOT AN INSIGHT TO THE DAILY LIVES OF WOMEN EVERYWHERE! but trump isn't the problem.- now before you freak out on me and call me all sorts of names, yes he has participated in all of the things i've mentioned, but if there is one thing i've learned through this election, is to look for the positive in everything, which in this case is that he raised awareness of the real problem going on, and that is what we are teaching our children.

we teach our girls that its their fault if a boy thinks "dirty thoughts" about them, that if they dress a certain way that boys are going to get the wrong idea.

we teach our boys that its "natural" to lust after a woman because "boys will be boys", almost as if the world owes them something...

so what are we supposed to do to change this?! how do we change the culture of the world?!

easy -- CHANGE OURSELVES AND HOW WE TEACH.

teach our boys that girls are their equal, and that they should be treated likewise. teach them that they need to be respectable AND respectful, to everyone

teach our girls to RESPECT themselves. teach them that they are beautiful, and are no ones property. teach them that they can be anything they set their mind on, no matter how they look.

teach our children that MODESTY IS FOR THEMSELVES, that you shouldn't "cover up" so that someone wont think differently, but they should remain "modest" so that they can do the things they need and want without having to focus on what they are wearing. teach them not to judge others based on appearances. TEACH RESPECT.

but how do we go about teaching these things?? we need to first learn them ourselves, understand them personally, and really change our views on ourselves. once you learn how to love yourself and respect yourself, you can then teach others to do the same. be the change that you wish to see in the world, spread love, not hate, and be more understanding and less judgmental, cause change first starts with you.

xoxo leilani